I come home to you

At the end of the night, I come home to you.

I like to be shiny and new and it’s hard to be after so many years. I am a catch. I am smart. I am kind. I am beautiful. I can be arrogant. I can be flighty. I can be impatient. I am messy. I am hard to satisfy. So I don’t know if you realize how much it means…

…that at the end of the night, I come home to you.

Tonight, I went to dinner with a bunch of strangers. I saw the way they looked at me; heard the way they flirted. I was offered rides and drinks and a hotel room. I enjoy the power of looking into someone’s eyes, a stranger’s eyes, and already knowing that I have them. It intoxicates me more than my sangria. I wear silted dresses so they look, purr out my intelligence so they listen, offer hugs so they can feel. I shed my professionalism to become a succubus because the attention is energizing.

But at the end of the night, I come home to you.

I enjoy being the young pretty perky one, the party favor, the entertainment. I love the way it makes people look at me. I like to be looked at and they like to look. Like my namesake, I exhibit a gravity that brings people into anxious and eager orbits. Every person tries to guess my age, my kinks; what it takes to turn my giggles to gasps and my friendship to lust. What it takes to take me. I love the awkward space between two people trying to figure out where they stand, or kneel. I love the power I hold in that space. I love being in that space.

And at the end of the night, I come home to you.

I would feel trapped without that. Confused. Are you a choice I made forever; do I keep making this choice? Are you the best out there? Are you what I want? You look at me like home, like a part of you. You don’t look at me like they do. So I go out to crowded places. I grab a taste. In the desert of Albuquerque, in the lights of New York City, in the neighborly Buffalo. I still am it; I still have it. I see the look in their eyes and remember when you had the same look. When I was shiny, and new, and the party favor in your eyes. I remember our comfort grew from that. I compare the experiences and suddenly, once again, you are enough, I am sated.

So at the end of the night, I can come home to you.